My favourite part of the creative process? Of course… shopping! Searching for new materials, browsing through all these wonderful little things, and imagining what they will become. Even managing the budget feels exciting at that moment! (Alright, maybe I’m stretching it a bit, but you get the idea.) Organizing my workspace, arranging everything in its place, dreaming of the wonders that will soon come to life in my hands… Ah!
And then? Then comes doubt. Fatigue. The existential question: “Does this even make sense?” How can I push my business forward? How can I make a reasonable income (if at all) with an approach like this? When my body aches, and my mind is clouded by exhaustion?
The worst part? So many people tell me, “You’re so talented, so creative” And yet, what good is that when the paintbrush in my hand starts to feel heavy, weighed down by an imperfect mind? Where does ADHD end, and physical exhaustion begin? Where is it a lack of dopamine, and where is it simply mental burnout?
Ever since I discovered I have ADHD, so many things have started to make sense. But lately, I’ve been wondering if that’s the whole story. Because while I’ve always been “the scatterbrained one,” “the one who starts a million projects at once,” I’ve also felt, for years, that something else was off. The exhaustion that sleep doesn’t cure. The pain appears for no clear reason. The moments when I genuinely want to create, but my body says “no.”
And that’s where Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome enters the scene, dressed in… well, in my case, probably royal blue and gold. hEDS is a connective tissue disorder that makes the body overly flexible yet paradoxically fragile and prone to pain. And yes, research increasingly suggests that ADHD and EDS often go hand in hand. Add chronic fatigue to the mix? It’s almost a recipe for creative paralysis.
And yet – I create. Sometimes slowly, less consistently, but I create. Maybe because creativity is more than just “work” for me – it’s a way to express myself, to push through the limitations imposed by my body and mind. Or maybe I simply can’t stop?
What about you? How do you cope with moments of doubt? What strategies help you keep going when your body or mind says “no”? Let me know in the comments – because even though each of our journeys is unique, in some ways, we walk them together. 💙
P.S. In my next post, I’ll dive deeper into the connection between ADHD and EDS, with more medical insights but still in my usual, personal style. Stay tuned!
